Last night, as I was peacefully trying to sleep, a traumatic, scarring event occurred that made me feel like one of those poor Gitmo detainees that was forced to listen to loud music on repeat: I heard my neighbor having loud sex, on repeat.
It was quite possibly the most disturbing night of my life. Now, I'm not naive. I'm fully aware that this is the consequence of living in a building with other people, where you share walls. In fact, in my old building and in this current one, I have heard trysts and never was bothered. I was able to quickly turn on the TV, listen to music or drown out the noise in some other fashion.
But not last night. It was like they were in my room. I turned on Conan - that did nothing. I turned the volume up louder - no help whatsoever. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep - nada. My only choice was to pray it would end soon.
In the meantime, I thought of all the passive aggressive ways I could let them know I looked down upon their behavior (Respect your neighbors! Especially when it's late on a work night). And I had plenty of time to concoct my revenge, as their session went on FOREVER.
Here are my thoughts:
- Write a note and stick it to their door. Do not sign my name, naturally, as I'm being as passive aggressive as possible.
- Gift wrap a roll of duct tape and place in front of their door. Ask them to please mask their voices next time.
- Give them one free pass (I'm pretty sure they're the people I've faintly heard before, so I could just hope they keep their voices down next time).
- Go all religious on them and let them know I don't think God appoves of hearing his name used in that manner.
- Let them know that should be a very private moment and I don't care to be a part of it.
Any other ideas? HELP!
xoxo,
Lisa Marie
