With all this packing, cleaning and hauling, I'm a little bit tired and a lot a bit whiny. And when I'm whiny, pet peeves manifest. For all the things I love about our glorious city, here's a few that I highly dislike. And for balance, it's followed by things that make me happy.
Things I highly dislike:
1. Moving. One elevator, a narrow staircase, a narrow doorway and heavy boxes make for a crabby mover and crabby helpers. Here's to hoping I only move one two more times in my entire life.
2. Driving in the city. Just because I'm driving doesn't mean I'm a moving target. Lady in the red jetta, you should be glad I have fast reactions. I totally meant the evil eye I gave you.
3. Hands-free devices. I don't care how easy it makes talking, you look crazy. And I always think you're talking to me on the bus, which makes things awkward when I respond to you.
4. Tools. It's a catchy word that I love to say, but it's not something you want to be. Is it really necessary to buy $90 T-shirts, wear sunglasses in the dark and flaunt your money to feel cool?
5. Slow walkers. If you're walking in front of me, please keep traffic moving at a steady pace. And please don't light up a cigarette because I'll end up inhaling more than you. This kind of anger while walking is also known as walk rage, which has all the same symptoms as road rage except you can't beep a horn. But you can carry an air horn.
6. People on the CTA that are stinky/talking too loudly/coughing on me/sitting on top of me/listening to their music too loudly/all of the above. Sometimes I like to hear your conversation - especially when you talk about scandalous topics - but most of the time I just want to relax, and that's hard to do when you're being a #4.
7. Posers. I like nice things, too, but this doesn't mean I have to plaster myself in them (in high school, maybe, but not now). A Gucci bag, shoes and purse? Overkill. And just because you drive a Mercedes doesn't mean you have the right-of-way. Please don't hit me.
8. Traffic Management Authority. I know you're just doing your job, but you don't have to be mean. Or scary. Yes, I forgot to turn on my turn signal but does that really justify having a conniption fit in the middle of the street? It was really embarrassing for both of us, but probably more so for you.
I told you I was bitter. But to balance it out, here's some Things I Love:
1. Fall. It's here! And rainy but it's here! The leaves turn colors, I can break out a sweater or two and start watching da Bears.
2. Sleeping to rain. Good thing, because I'll be doing it tonight!
3. Surprises. But not, "shoot, I only have $100 left in my account?" More like, "Yes! I have an extra $500 in my account!" And then someone gets you flowers/buys you a drink/makes you dinner/gives you a million dollars.
4. Girls' nights. I can't disclose names, but the last time I had a girls' night with one of my bestest friends, she brought an extra pair of undies because she knew we were going to laugh so hard that she'd pee herself. True story.
5. Random acts of kindness. People helping the elderly off buses, opening doors, giving up their seat for that very pregnant lady on the El and offering a helping hand - it melts my heart.
6. Fluffy things. My hair, warm blankets, dogs. Pretty much anything that has a little fluff to it is awesome (minus my hair on humid days).
7. My family and friends. I know I'm like a broken record on this one, but it's true! I mean, my beau helped me move, my friend Maur offered her car (I protected it well from red Jetta lady!), my fam is coming tomorrow for round two of moving and all my other friends have been giving me boxes and asking about the move. They make life so much sweeter.
8. Having a driver. And by driver I mean a CTA bus driver. People watching is so much easier and I get to look out the windows and view the amazing culture of our city. So many fun places to go and so many fabulously dressed people. I deem us the coolest city ever - even if we have some bad drivers, tools, posers and slow walkers - I suppose that's what makes the world go 'round!
Time for you to share your likes and dislikes! It feels so great to vent. Now I'm less angry and ready to clean my apartment!
xoxo,
Lisa Marie